Category Archives: rants - Page 2


So the radio news this morning told me that “a new study shows that abstinence in teenagers results in 40% fewer pregnancies”. Hurm. Hope no one paid for that study.

Service with a smile

On the drive to work this morning I caught a radio news snippet saying that a group of death row inmates are protesting some “inhumane treatment” they perceive to be perpetrated on them. They are protesting by going on a hunger strike.

That’s what I call service. Now we don’t even have to kill them, they die voluntarily, eh? Smooth.

bathroom quandary

I was using a urinal at the airport in Detroit (did I mention that I spent a week in Dallas at the end of February?) and noticed something exceedingly strange. It was the sort of urinal that isn’t just against the wall, it has a sort of bowl deal that sticks out. Anyway, there were streaks in the urinal from solid material being deposited in the bowl….

Now it’s that someone was having a practical joke at the airport, but that seems unlikely, since it’s difficult to predict the streaking action that a particular bowel relief may or may not produce. My best guess is that some poor foreigner misunderstood the intended use of the urinal. Poor guy. Still makes me laugh to think about though.

if it quacks like a duck…

One particular urban legend says that tried to pass a law defining the value of pi to be exactly three instead of 3.14159 ad infinitum. Now truth or legend, the fact of the matter is that pi is pi because it’s the ration of a circle’s circumference to its diameter. In other words, pi = circumference/diameter is the defining quality, not pi = 3.14159….

So what’s the deal? Law or no law, certificate or no certificate, it’s take a man and a woman to make a marriage. Constitutional amendments are meaningless (can you say “shall no be abridged” and “District of Columbia” anyone?). A marriage certificate issued to a pair of men or a pair of women is just as meaningless. Some constants will be held as truth no matter what legal definition gets attached.

This is the part where I stick my tongue out at everyone making a hubbub over this whole thing.

things that make me want to kill people

First thing this morning at work, I had to read through a patent application for correctness. Legal writing makes me angry, and more than just a little angry. It’s written specifically to obfuscate its actual purpose. It’s written just to make me want to go postal.

Which is exactly how I felt when I got done reading the legal document, and took a look at my blog. I had two comments, both were blog spam. They were advertising the aktins diet and term life insurance. They both kill puppies in their spare time, I’m sure.

So, I think I need to craft some verbage to link from the comments that basically states “if the link that you post contains *anything* except a link to your personal homepage or blog, then you accept responsibility for any DDOS that may fall upon that linked site.”.

a tisket, a tasket, an offensive little basket

Just so that everyone is clear what they should and should not be offended about, let me clear a few things up:

  • This blog is about Dave and Melissa. Our thoughts, reasonings, ideals, etc. This blog is not our platform to cut people down, at least not implicitly. If we want to publically mock your way of life, we’ll say it explicitly, we promise.
  • Melissa and I live our lives, the best we know how, to the glory of God. Sure, we’re not so good at it a lot of the time. Some of our friends have a habit of not making that pursuit any easier though.
  • We got married young and fairly soon after we met. We like that choice. Feel free to be offended, afronted, or appalled by that. We’re not asking you to approve, agree, or act in a like manner.
  • We think guns are useful tools, mainly because they aid in poking holes in the human body in an efficient manner. Again, feel free to be offended till you’re blue in the face.
  • If we’re blessed with children, we’re planning on homeschooling them. This choice is based on our views of the [lack of] efficacy of public schools, our [sometimes limited] experience with public schools, etc. I think it safe to say that Melissa and I know more about public schools and the people that have gone to them than most of you know about homeschoolers though. Simple logic. If you don’t like this opinion, you’re again encourage to be offended, outright enraged, etc.
  • We believe in one Almighty, Unchanging, Holy God who sent His Son to be a material, living, worthy sacrifice for our sins. Take offense all you like.

I could go on and on like that. There are going to be people out there in internet land that are going to be offended by one or more of those statements. I don’t really mind, though. Each of those things I listed is a personal belief. By personal, I mean that it pertains to Melissa and me, not to you. Any of you. I’m not forcing anyone to agree with us. When we talk about our lives, we’re doing just that. Talking about our lives.

If you disagree, bully for you! The world is full of disagreement. Whoop-de-do. If you want to be vocal about your disagreement, then you have two choices, really. First choice is to excercise a little self-restraint, and politely present your own opinion for consideration. This is really the only choice, if you want your opinion to be taken seriously. The other choice, of course, is to fly off the handle, lay down a flaming trail of choice insults, proclaim your superiority loudly, and then look down on all that oppose.

Now granted, those two extremes are seldom seen. But please people, if you really do care for Melissa or me at all, then consider the way you’re offering your opinions to us. Do you really expect to gain anything through a full-on verbal assault?

Stand down from red alert, realize that when we talk about our own beliefs, they are just that, our own. We’re not out to get any of you. We don’t mind if you disagree with us. We’re not trying to win you over. We’re not even asking you to read our posts.

In closing, since this IS my forum, I encourage people to prayerfully consider what their purpose is when posting to my blog. If you’re just presenting your own opinion, wonderful. If you’re lovingly correcting me, have at it. If you’re going to read between the lines, imply the worst, etc, then please, do not bother.

Move along people. Nothing to see here.

Still Can’t Drink

Dave thought I should post and let everyone know that yesterday was my 20th birthday.

non-stop fun from the referrer logs

So an anonymous someone named meaghan offered her opinion in the form of a comment to this post that I made a while back. Apparently she feels that I am an obsessive freak. She also mentions her hatred for Avril Lavigne.

Now I’m no scientist (I don’t even play one on TV), but I like to have my facts straight whenever possible. The post in question had twenty-two bullet points, each mentioning an interesting thing that showed up in my web server logs. One out of twenty-two doesn’t seem obsessive to me. Freak I can live with though. That one’s ok. (:

The icing on the cake came when I dug through the server logs themselves (not the digested version you can see on the web). It turns out that meaghan arrived here at the paintedpig from a search on What was she searching for, you might ask? Her search terms were “avril lavigne’s email adress”.

Gotta love that, it’s irony at it’s best. While search terms like those don’t negate the possibility that meaghan does in fact hate avril (she may need the address to send hatemail?), those search terms do point some fingers at who might really be the obsessive one.

Oh well, enough of that. (:

while I’m whining

While I’m in a house rant mood (although I agree with you all, when the right house is found, we’ll see just what God has been up to this whole time), what are y’all’s experience with realtors?

Melissa and I have either had really poor choice in finding realtors, or else they’re just a slimy lot. It doesn’t help anything that they’re really working for the seller and not for us, but still. It seems like these people have everything to gain by taking advantage of us.

I’m just whining, it’s true. I just get bad vibes off so many of these realtors. Worse yet, so many of them are amateur (or they seem that way) realtors. They have other jobs, and just sell houses in their spare time. I don’t want that. I want someone who knows the house and who is going to work for me. I want them to try to get the best deal they can on a house that’s right for me. grr.

ok, I’m better now. Honest (:

perhaps if we reload it again, it will go off this time?

So Melissa and I went to see the matrix reloaded this last friday with the gamefest crowd.

I really don’t know what to say. The cave rave could have been done without, for certain. The sex scenes didn’t really advance the plot at all. They weren’t daring on the part of the Wachowski brothers. They were just distasteful. Enough said.

I enjoyed the fight scenes, they were fun. Especially the stairway and highway scenes. I hated the cg scenes. They were truly horrid. Get me some real cg actors, then we’ll talk about putting them in real movies.

Overall, sure, I enjoyed the flick. I had some serious issues with it, but overall, I’m still looking forward to the final movie. I actually liked the animatrix better than reloaded. Go fig. I did like how the animatrix and reloaded actually tied together.