Monthly Archives: July 2004 - Page 2

Releasing Tension

It’s been awhile since I’ve written. I tend to have poor attitude when it comes to posting an actual post on the blog. Buuuut when I’ve got something on my mind, it really helps me to just write it out. Lately I’ve been missing the old days a little, missing working at the vet clinics and spending time with animals. They are my first love. I also miss long conversations about breeding silver persians, and cat-show gossip. I miss Pfeiffer (my dog, who recently died) and spending hours a day dog training. I miss following dog trainers around and learning their tricks. I miss just talking to my clients about how their dog or cat is simply the best in the world (if not the universe). I miss holding baby lions, tigers, and leopards, and hours-long arguments with parrots. I miss the days when I’d ride my horse without ever feeling any fear. I miss being with my parents who understood all those loves of mine.

But lets get it straight…I don’t miss being single, or long-distance relationships. I don’t miss the city.

Dave and I went to the county fair yesterday. We watched his siblings show their steers, and I even got to watch some other kids ride their ponies in the horse show. Seeing all the hogs, turkeys, sheep, goats, horses, and bovines…just made me remember what I love, and what I want to be part of. Obviously I’m too old for 4-H and that’s too bad. Miss out on such things when you’re a city kid. I have so much energy and have such a strong desire to pick up where I left off and do the things I love. I can’t do that though, for various reasons. I don’t like the vets here, and know I’d be a horrible employee if I were to work under one of them. I couldn’t volunteer my time at an animal shelter -it’s far too dangerous. I can see it now, “Oh Dave, there is a gorgeous dog at the shelter. Nobody will adopt it because it’s so badly behaved. Can I bring it home and train it so that somebody will want to adopt it?”

Can’t really go back to dog training. I have oodles of experience with puppies, but a real problem-dog would be a handful, and I’d be afraid to fail someone who was paying me well to train their animal. I have my own dog, but he has been so badly abused in the past that teaching him one thing at a time is taking weeks and months. He’s coming around excellently, despite that. I’m proud of him.

The cat-show world is too far away from me here. Besides, I’ve already gotten my own cat the highest title he can possibly achieve. So there’s nothing left for me to do there. Unless I started breeding, but I value my house (oh and Dave) too much.

I’d love to go to school for dog training, but most require living at the school for weeks or months at a time. Obviously, I couldn’t and wouldn’t leave my Dave. There is the option of on-line courses, but I’m not sure if those are worth the time/money or not. I’m pretty skeptical.

I’m still riding my horse, but again. I’m really starting at the bottom of the ladder since my accident. Haven’t really warmed up to anyone at the stable anyway, except the owner, and during the summer he’s too busy (and understandably so) to hang out with me.

So that’s where it stands, I can’t think of anything that would really fix the situation, I have all this energy and love for animals as a whole, and I want to be able to get it out of my system and express it. I want to actively DO something with it. I miss talking with people who understand that in me.

Other than all that, life’s peachy. It’s been a beautiful summer and things are going well.

deep thoughts

My Dad turns 48 today (yay Dad!), and I’m 24 this year. That means that my Dad was about the age that I am now when I was born. That’s a deep thought. I’m looking forward to the chance to be a Daddy, but I’m very sobered by it too.

Anyway, that’s my deep thought for the day.

anyone have a spare video card for sale?

I’m looking for a video card for my spare computer. I’d like something in the ti4200 -ti4600 performance range, but I’m up for an equivalent ATI card too. Anyone have one lying around collecting dust, and want to sell it to mah?

None of the retail stores I normally use have a card that I want, and for some reason I’m loath to ebay the card. I’ll end up doing that if I have to, but I figured it can’t hurt to ask, just in case. (: