“In a wood full of princes, freedom is a kiss”

I’m getting ready to leave for Kokomo. I need to go to the Social Security Office there and officially get my named changed. Indiana roads frustrate me. I haven’t yet figured out the placement of the road signs. And the lights change differently too. Driving any length of time usually serves to aggravate me. I plan on attempting enjoyment today. My day yesterday did not go so well, and I don’t want to experience a repeat.

My family is in D.C. on vacation. My mom was calling me at least once daily, until she dropped her cell phone in some water, apparently. The only person I speak to directly now is Dave. Oddly enough, I am really comfortable with that. I was feeling lonely my first few weeks here, but I don’t feel that way anymore. I’m not sure if that is a good thing or not. At this point, I hate leaving the house at all. I never feel like interacting with anyone. Dave has been encouraging me to call people and even to write my grandmother, and for some selfish reason I just feel completely unmotivated to do anything of the sort.

Dave sincerely hopes that I will make new friends here. But I don’t particularly want to. I feel that my thoughts are wrong on this subject. I feel that I ought to feel differently. But I don’t. And On the same level I’m ok with that. I try to plan my days so that I don’t have to leave the house. The only time I don’t actually mind going out is when Dave is with me. He’s always such good company. Anything I do with him is fun. Even deep conversations that involve us both seeing things a bit differently.

Contrary to what one might suppose, I am so very happy. I have never felt more whole and free in my life. I love my husband, my home, and my kitties. I love my life. I just think that somewhere a part of me is confused. One probably shouldn’t be so content to be home and not go out for days or a week at a time. But I like it that way.

  1. It’s lovely to hear you speak of Dave in this way, but I have to agree with him that you do need interaction with others besides him.

    Perhaps for now life, your marriage, is fresh, but there will be points of stagnation and discontent. One way to alleviate this is to become involved with others. Perhaps, once you find a church; or take classes on topics or activities you find interesting or useful.

    But of course, what do I know?

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