A better way

What I would have rather gotten from the Company as a reason for firing me, instead of “We don’t love you anymore”:

Pursuant to the “at will” employment policy of [the “Company”], we hereby terminate your employment effective immediately.

While there are no written directives preventing you from executing a flatulatory expression from the confines of your cubicle, the Company finds your unabashed leg-in-the-air approach to gastrointestinal evacuation an unquestionable encumberment to those working in and around your working area.

We thank you for your contributions to the Company and wish you well in your future endeavors.

Very truly yours,
Der Commandant

(unabashedly adapted from Dooce, a new favorite blog to read)

Leave a Comment

NOTE - You can use these HTML tags and attributes:
<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>