The whole gun rights debate leaves a bad taste in my mouth (like the Flamin’ Hot Cheetos I ate this morning — what was I thinking?). Like most public “discourses” in the age of television (i.e. in the post-rationalism era) it is emotionally charged and accomplishes nothing.
I am not particularly pro-gun control, though I definitely don’t agree with any interpretation of the 2nd Amendment that allows civilians to own Uzi’s or submachine guns. Of all the amendments in the Bill of Rights, I think the 2nd is the most in need of an update due to changes in the structure of the national defense system: namely, we have a standing army and a national guard and therefore it seems to me that minuteman militias are unnecessary. Besides which, having a well-armed militia is not why most gun owners have guns anyway. But I digress.
Here are a couple of slogans that are posted all over Illinois’ interstates and major highways, Burma-Shave style:
“Armed Citizens / Criminals Avoid / In 43 States / But Not Illinois”
So, not knowing much (or caring much) about Illinois gun control laws, I’m forced to infer that in 43 states, criminals know who the gun owners are and they stay away from them. But because of Illinois’ (again, I am assuming) restrictive gun laws, criminals prey on us helpless citizens because they know we don’t have automatic handguns. Right.
Here’s one of my personal favorites:
“Terrorists Love / Gun Control / Unarmed Citizens / Are Their Goal”
Okay, so if all the people on the airplanes had been allowed to carry firearms, or if the civilians in the WTC had been armed, the September 11 tragedies wouldn’t have occurred. And of course, in Israel all their problems with homicide bombings would end if they just carried more guns. Right? This is as good an example of the irrationalism of gun rights advocates as any I have seen, and I won’t waste time debunking it.
Please, no comments comparing me to Michael Moore. He’s a great example of the irrational, stupid, ignorant, and otherwise despicable gun control advocates. Not like me. Thanks and have a great day. And remember, if you don’t want to be a victim, keep your [insert favorite model and make of submachine gun] locked and loaded.